Uncertainty is a natural part of life, but it’s easy to feel completely overwhelmed when a lot of unknowns are coming your way at once—like, right about now. Between political tension and rising gun violence, ongoing debates over health mandates, and the general unpredictability happening in your personal life, it’s no wonder many of us feel on-edge.
When life is up in the air, you have two options: Hide out on your couch and pretend like nothing’s wrong, or find new ways to work through the uncertainty. It goes without saying, but the first isn’t really an option—and ultimately, the only way out is through.
“We all have to learn to live with uncertainty, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy,” Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinical associate professor at NYU Langone Health and cohost of the Mind in View podcast, tells SELF—which is why we asked six therapists to share the mental health hacks they personally reach for when uncertainty strikes. Here’s what they swear by.
1. Focus on what you can control.
When the air is thick with uncertainty, it’s easy to assume the outcome will be horrible—and that can quickly make you a bit obsessive. “Uncertainties that cause worry tend to ‘stick,’” Hillary Ammon, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Anxiety & Women’s Emotional Wellness, tells SELF.
Whenever she notices that she’s not able to easily shake a worry, Dr. Ammon says she’ll first pause and acknowledge it. “Then, I sit with it for a moment. I try not to push the thoughts or feelings away,” she says. This gives her the mental freedom to actually think about what’s bothering her versus trying to ignore it—which can ultimately put it on your mind even more, she explains. Dr. Ammon then finds it helpful to focus her attention on what’s in her control and to problem-solve the things she actually has the ability to change. It may even help to take it one step further and make an actual list of what’s worrying you and the aspects you can control so that you know what to focus on.
“By striking this balance, you are telling your brain that you can tolerate uncertainty and trust your future self to be able to handle the possible outcomes you are worried about,” she says. While this won’t wipe every “what if” from your brain, it can make a big difference in helping you shift your energy and let some aspects of *all this* go.
2. Take a walk to clear your mind.
The natural chaos of life can make uncertainty feel even worse, Dr. Gallagher says. That’s why she started making a point of going for regular walks, which can help you clear your mind, as well as return to basics by simply putting one foot in front of the other. Another pointer from Dr. Gallagher: Keep your mind present during these walks to really maximize the experience. “I don’t have my phone out and I don’t listen to music,” she says. “I just connect, observe, and be with my thoughts. It can be really powerful.”
If she’s feeling particularly anxious on a walk, Dr. Gallagher says she’ll focus on taking deep, intentional breaths to bring her mind back to the here and now. Afterward, she always feels more grounded, especially when those walks include observing nature. “Dialing into your senses can be a really great way to bring yourself back to the present and away from worries about what might happen in the future,” she points out.
3. Prioritize getting good sleep.
Lack of sleep can make anxiety worse, which is why logging plenty of time in bed is a priority for Helen Lavretsky, MD, professor-in-residence in the Department of Psychiatry at UCLA. (In fact, one scientific analysis published last year found that even staying up an hour or so later than usual can mess with your ability to feel happy, and it can ramp up anxious feelings.)
Of course, telling yourself to get plenty of shut-eye and actually doing it—when you’re stressed out, no less—can be tricky. (And often, hyperfocusing on this can be counterproductive and make insomnia worse.) But Dr. Lavretsky has a specific bedtime routine she follows that helps her drift off despite all the chaos going on. “I take a bath with epsom salt,” she says. “It warms my body and prepares me for sleep.”
The activity or series of events that get you feeling relaxed and ready to doze off may be different, but the key is finding a pre-sleep ritual that works for you and making it a standard part of your nighttime routine—so that your body and brain both come to know exactly when it’s time to power down.
4. Think about your “anchors.”
Many people crave stability, which can make uncertainty even more jarring, Arianna Galligher, LISW, director of the STAR Trauma Recovery Center and the Gabbe Well-Being Office at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, tells SELF. “But descending into panic or paralysis will help nothing and no one,” she says. That’s why Galligher recommends thinking of things in your life that are consistent, which she calls your “anchors.”
You have a lot of different options to choose from, but relationships are a big one for Galligher. “When I start to feel overwhelmed, spending time with the people I care about and practicing being really present with them instead of obsessing about whatever it is I’m upset or worried about offers a great deal of relief,” she says. “Engaging with those I love and trust also creates an opportunity for me to process what’s going on and explore my options for how to move forward in a way that it’s harder to do when the thoughts are just swirling around in my own head. Having a sounding board like that is really helpful sometimes.”
5. Squeeze in the activities that make you feel good.
“It’s important to keep doing things that matter to you, even when in extended periods of turmoil,” Lindsey C. McKernan, PhD, MPH, associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, tells SELF. That’s why she keeps a sticky note above her desk that lists the five activities that help her feel her best—which she refers to when she’s feeling particularly overwhelmed.
The items on your list can include things like doing yoga, listening to audiobooks, and cooking. “As a working mother of three young children, I’m not in a place where I can do all of these things at the same time,” Dr. McKernan says. But she tries to inject even little snippets of them into her day—grabbing a few minutes of an audiobook when she can or doing a yoga sequence by her desk during a lunch break—to help lift her mood and make her feel more grounded, even when she’s surrounded by chaos.
6. Lean into a reliable routine.
Keeping a sense of structure can be soothing when it feels like everything is up in the air, Nora Brier, PsyD, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Penn Medicine, tells SELF. It gives you something to rely on, even when everything else around you seems too unpredictable.
For her, a solid morning routine is key for establishing a sense of order in her day: She savors her morning coffee, stretches, and focuses on the rhythm and routine of walking her dog. If things go haywire after that, that period of calm and predictability helps to keep her grounded. Dr. McKernan also tries to incorporate “guideposts” in her life that feel more routine, like listening to her favorite playlist on the way to work or having a wind-down routine at night.
Overall, therapists stress that it’s important to remind yourself that you can only do so much when it comes to predicting the future—and that you’ve dealt with this on some level before. “The only constant in life is change and uncertainty. Control is an illusion that helps us all feel better as people,” Dr. Brier says. “This is a good perspective that can feel very freeing.”
Related:
- 6 Signs of Social Anxiety That Are Easy to Mistake for ‘Shyness’
- The 5 Best Foods to Eat for Better Mental Health
- ‘Worry Windows’ Got Me Through One of My Most Stressful Years
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