When you’re in the throes of menopause and dealing with sleepless nights, anxiety, and vaginal dryness, sex may not be on your mind. But pleasuring yourself could actually relieve some of these symptoms.
Nearly 25% of women in perimenopause and menopause said that masturbating regularly helped them handle mood changes and sleep disturbances, according to research published in the journal Menopause last November. The study, which surveyed more than 1,100 women, also found that half would try masturbation as a symptom-relief strategy if their doctor recommended it.
Women should expect changes during menopause, when estrogen levels decline and periods stop. But the study highlights that it’s not all “doom and gloom,” says Cynthia Graham, PhD, one of the study’s authors and a senior scientist and professor of gender studies at Indiana University.
Too often, women “see themselves as less desirable, less able to engage in sexual activity” during menopause, says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, a gynecologist and codirector of the Sexuality, Intimacy, and Menopause Program for cancer survivors at Yale Medicine. She hopes the study will empower women, sending the message that “You’re still a sexual person. You can still achieve orgasm, and should keep on doing it.”
Menopause and women’s sexual health have long been stigmatized, experts say. Here’s what they want you to know about how self-pleasure (even more so than partnered sex) can benefit women at this stage.
Why masturbation may relieve menopausal symptoms
Sexual arousal and orgasming (from partnered sex or masturbation) increase blood flow to the vagina and pelvic region, which enhances vaginal moisture, Dr. Minkin says. This is vital during menopause, when declining estrogen levels lead to vaginal dryness and genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), which causes vaginal irritation and thinning, pain during sex, decreased arousal, inability to orgasm, and urinary incontinence.
Another 2025 study published, also published in Menopause, found that women who engaged in regular sexual activity (defined as sex within the past three months) had fewer GSM symptoms.
However, many women need vaginal estrogen to treat GSM, Dr. Minkin adds.
Sex and masturbation also trigger the release of “an enormous flood of neurochemicals that make us feel good,” including the hormones oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine, says Maria Sophocles, MD, an ob-gyn, certified menopause practitioner, and author of the upcoming book The Bedroom Gap.
This has been shown to relieve stress, promote a calming effect, and boost your mood. Masturbation and sex with a partner may also improve sleep quality.
Masturbation, specifically, helps women become more comfortable with their bodies, says Erika Kelley, PhD, a clinical psychologist in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center. “Getting to grow in the sense of empowerment and agency with your body in the course of menopause transition has a positive effect.”
Why masturbation may be more beneficial than sex with a partner
If you enjoy it, any sexual activity during menopause is good for you, Dr. Sophocles says, but masturbation offers some unique benefits: “When we self-pleasure, it’s really the most pure form of pleasure for ourselves.”
For one thing, Graham says, “Women are much more likely to be able to reach orgasm during solo sex.”
Research backs this up. A 2024 research review published in the Journal of Sex Research found that women are more likely to orgasm when masturbating (or partnered with a woman) than with a male partner.
This is likely due to the important connection between mindfulness and sexual response, Dr. Kelley says. “To experience sexual arousal, sensations, pleasure, you have to attend to what’s happening in your body. It requires a lot of present focus and attention.”
Bringing a partner into the mix can add potential distractions, such as performance anxiety or focusing more on their pleasure instead of yours, Dr. Kelley says. Women may also be adapting to menopause-related bodily changes, such as weight fluctuations, which can impact their body image.
“There are so many ways that you can sabotage your own pleasure when you’re having sex with a partner,” Dr. Sophocles says. “Pleasure from masturbation is a more reliable, predictable outcome.”
Many women also find it difficult to communicate their sexual needs with a partner, Graham says. With masturbation, “You can explore your own likes and dislikes and not worry what your partner thinks.”
How to embrace self-pleasure
While self-pleasure can benefit women during menopause, don’t feel like you have to do it if you’re not into it, Dr. Minkin says. But if you are interested and don’t masturbate regularly or haven’t in a while, here are some tips.
Address dryness and other GSM symptoms.
Dryness, itching, and changes to your vulva or vagina can make any sexual activity uncomfortable, Dr. Minkin says. “Trying to get the vagina moist and comfortable to think about some activity down there is a good idea, whether it’s going to be self-pleasure or partnered activities.”
One option is prescription vaginal estrogen cream, which can help relieve dryness, irritation, and pain during sex, she says. Over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers, including products with hyaluronic acid, and water- or silicone-based lubricants, are other options—however, these items won’t address the root of dryness, which is declining estrogen.
Try sex gadgets.
Whether it’s romance novels, pornography, fantasizing, or something else, Dr. Minkin suggests seeking out stimulating material to help you get in the mood—or try sex gadgets, like vibrators or dildos. She recommends MedAmour, a website that curates products with input from doctors and other sexual health experts.
“You might get some ideas for yourself, and you might get some gadgets that are fun for you,” Dr. Minkin says.
Go at your own pace.
Approach self-pleasure with mindfulness and curiosity, without self-judgment, Dr. Kelley says. “Look at it as more exploration, empowerment, getting to know your body, and exploring what feels good.”
Start slowly and don’t make orgasming your goal, Dr. Sophocles says. She recommends beginning with gentle “G-rated touching,” including your neck, inner arms, or breasts, which will heighten the pleasure centers of your brain. Progress to touching your inner things and around your genitals, and then finally, “you’re ready to touch the clitoris and the labia.”
If you’re struggling with self-pleasure or other aspects of sexual health during menopause, talk to a Menopause Society-certified menopause practitioner, a member of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health, or a provider certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
It’s normal for your body to change during menopause. But, Dr. Minkin says, it’s important to remember that “you are a sexual being, and you want to stay a sexual being.” Masturbation can give you more control over your sexual pleasure, Dr. Kelley adds, and “if you feel more comfortable and more empowered in your own body, you’re going to help yourself with sexual health.”
Related:
- How to Have Better Orgasms
- What Women Are Actually Getting Out of Those Menopause Retreats
- What Is ‘Menopause Massage’ And Why Are We Not All Doing This?
Get more of SELF’s great service journalism delivered right to your inbox.
