You probably don’t need a survey to tell you parents are stressed out right now, but in case you do: A recent government report found that 48% of parents say that their stress is “completely overwhelming” on most days—more than double what other adults report.
Why am I mentioning this? The new Dietary Guidelines for Americans just dropped, and there’s one particular nugget in the mix that’s already stressing me out as a mom of four young kids. Under the new guidelines, children under the age of 10 should not have added sugar. As you’ve probably heard, added sugar is linked to obesity, weight gain, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease.
While taking added sugar off the table sounds good in theory, there is very little chance most parents can actually pull that off. Under those recommendations, Halloween treats are off the table. So is birthday cake. Oh, and you can forget about school lunches too. Bribing your toddler to eat her veggies with the promise of a small sweet treat afterward? Nope, can’t. Doesn’t meet the guidelines. Of course, anything that comes in a package is probably off-limits.
But this is upsetting (and frazzling) to me on a deeper level. It implies that parents need to home-cook everything that goes into their child’s mouth in order to keep them healthy, which veers dangerously into trad-wife territory. Even then, we can’t win.
I bake a lot—it relaxes me—and make bread for my family a few times a week. My go-to recipe contains added sugar (you need a little to feed the yeast to get that fluffy texture). By all accounts, homemade, preservative-free bread is the way to go, but I can’t even do that under these guidelines. I also make almond flour–zucchini muffins to try to get some extra veggies in my kids—those contain a little maple syrup, which is considered an added sugar.
I feel like we’re doing a solid job on the nutritional front at home…most days. My kids know they’re supposed to eat a protein and fruit or veggie at each meal to help support their health. But, as a mom, I know that’s a best-case scenario. Like most American families, we’re just trying to do our best over here. With four kids in different activities, I regularly pass out bars and packaged snacks in the car to help tide my little ones over between meals. We have leftover Halloween candy stored up high in our pantry that my kids can tap into when they do a good job with their dinner. And of course, we’re going to enjoy ice cream and treats here and there. Life’s too short not to, and I want my children to enjoy food—not look at certain ingredients as the enemy.
I’m already stressed that I’m not doing enough as a mom—I’m not present enough, I work too much, I forgot to read a story to them last night before bed, my house is messy, I was grumpy the other night, I didn’t join the PTA…I could go on. Feeling like I’m harming my kids when they have a little added sugar only heaps on what I’m already grappling with on a daily basis.
Turns out, dietitians get it.
While dietitians agree that Americans as a whole need to cut back on added sugar, they stress that swearing it off entirely is not the way to go. “It is incredibly important that children receive early nutrition education and exposure to a wide variety of foods,” Meghan Reed, MS, RD, clinical nutrition manager at Northwell’s Lenox Hill Hospital, tells SELF. “Restrictive dietary approaches, however, are not an effective teaching tool.”
Reed points out that recommendations need to be “realistic” and “designed to empower families”—not add to our stress. This recommendation “ignores how children live,” Dena Champion, RD, a dietitian at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, tells SELF. “Birthday parties, school celebrations, holidays with grandparents, and normal social experiences all involve food,” she points out. It also sets kids up to become obsessive about sugar, Champion says. “When we make foods completely off-limits, we risk creating shame, secrecy, and an unhealthy fixation on those ‘forbidden’ foods,” she explains. “Children need to learn how to navigate a world where sweets exist.”
Lisa Moskovitz, RD, CDN, CEO of NY Nutrition Group and author of The Core 3 Healthy Eating Plan, also tells SELF that these added sugar recommendations don’t make sense for families. “As a dietitian who works with children and a mother myself, all I can say is that whoever made the recommendation to avoid all added sugar until 10 doesn’t have children themselves,” she says. “Not only is that impossible when you walk inside a school cafeteria, but I believe it would cause more harm to stress over every gram of added sugar that goes into your children’s mouth than it would be to let them enjoy the occasional cookie or cereal bar. It is unrealistic and overly restrictive.”
Moskovitz adds that being this fixated and restrictive of added sugars can cause kids to develop a “potentially dysfunctional relationship with food.”
You can still cut back on added sugar without making it the enemy.
This is crucial for having a healthy relationship with food, according to dietitians. “A cupcake at a birthday party won’t derail a child’s health,” Champion says. “Teaching children to have a healthy relationship with all foods, including occasional treats, is far more sustainable than strict elimination rules that often backfire.”
Instead of making added sugar something to stress over, Champion suggests focusing on loading your child’s plate with good stuff and working from there. “Offer a wide variety of whole foods, including fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, as the foundation of meals and snacks,” she says.
If you’re especially concerned about added sugar, start by cutting down on sugar-sweetened drinks or even weeding them out entirely, Scott Keatley, RD, co-owner of Keatley Medical Nutrition Therapy, tells SELF. “If you want a strategy that actually matches the science and moves the needle, the practical north star is eliminating sugary drinks then worrying far less about small, incidental grams of added sugar that show up in otherwise reasonable foods,” he says. You can cut back on added sugar without making it something your child absolutely can’t have, he says.
Basically, just keep on doing your best. Your children are probably going to have some added sugar in their lives—and that’s more than fine.
Related:
- How the MAHA Food Agenda Threatens to Set Women Back Decades
- The 4 Reasons You Get Sugar Cravings, According to Experts
- 6 Signs It’s Time to Leave Your Toxic Mom Group, According to Therapists
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