Orgasms rule, no matter whether you’re having them alone or with a partner. Still, there’s something special to be said for the ones that leave you unable to think straight for a full five minutes after, or that you walk around feeling for the next few hours. Or whatever a super-hot orgasm is like for you! Everybody’s different (as is every body).
If you have a vagina and you’re looking to come so hard that it reverberates through the very depths of your spirit, read on for extremely fun methods for increasing your sexual pleasure and ramping up the intensity of many different types of orgasms. (And note that pleasure comes in all different forms, so even if you don’t orgasm—which is totally normal—all of these ideas will still feel great.)
1. Before getting physical, start with the mental.
An often overlooked but extremely powerful sex organ is none other than the brain! So before jumping into any sort of physical stimulation, focus on mental arousal and set the scene. That might look like putting on your favorite sexy music, dimming the lights, or even just taking a few breaths. Because our arousal nerve lives in our parasympathetic nervous system (the part of our brain that is relaxed and calm), being present can be a key element to having an amazing orgasms, Aimee Evnin-Bingham, LMFT, a AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF.
Mindfulness can also help relax your pelvic floor, which can be game-changing for orgasms, Evnin-Bingham adds: “Before sexual activity, lie on your back with knees bent. Place a hand on your belly. Inhale deeply through your nose, feeling your belly rise, and exhale slowly through your mouth, letting your belly fall.” Bringing attention to your breath, body, and mental state can do wonders for opening your pelvic floor and zoning you into pleasure.
2. Spend some time with yourself.
Partnered sex can be wonderful in its own right, but taking time to learn what you like on your own can help you get off the way that feels best to you, whether or not you’re in bed with someone else. Freely exploring yourself during masturbation can also help you unlock new ways you might not have otherwise known you like to be touched.
“Getting to know your own body and the type of pressure and friction that feel good really sets a template for knowing how to arouse yourself and have an orgasm during sex,” Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a AASECT-certified sex therapist and author of She Comes First, tells SELF. (If you’re looking for fresh ideas to try, SELF has a guide to masturbation techniques for people with vaginas.)
3. Call on the power of your senses—and test out some new ones.
If you’re not sure what gets you going or your existing spank bank feels a little stale, give something new a shot! For instance, if you’re used to watching porn videos, seek out audio erotica for a new twist on an old classic. Once you feel connected to the scenarios that especially turn you on, you can bring them into your masturbation routine, draw on them during hookups, and, as you’re getting down in any capacity, call them to mind to make whatever you’re doing even hotter.
And beyond tying out new visual or audio erotica to get you going, don’t forget all the ways you can bring in your other senses too. Evnin-Bingham suggests adding in “toys, feathers or other objects to mindfully move your hands all over your body, lightly teasing and touching your skin,” to bring your whole body into an orgasm. Even something as simple as lighting some scented candles or trying out a blindfold to heighten your senses might be what brings your run-of-the-mill orgasms to earth-shatteringly good.
4. Don’t skimp on foreplay.
Foreplay primes your body to have the most toe-curling possible orgasm later on. Dr. Kerner suggests thinking of your entire body as an erogenous zone instead of jumping into the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am type of deal. Remember, there’s no rush to orgasm, so move slow and build up tension to bring about an even more powerful release.
Making it a point to get as turned on as possible gives your body a chance to maximize feel-good bodily processes that happen in response to sex, like extra blood flow that increases sensitivity and muscular tension that makes it all the more likely you’ll feel a huge sense of release during your orgasm.
5. Communicate with your partner(s) and ask for what you want.
Sometimes, it’s easy to get in your head during sex, or to prioritize someone else’s pleasure over your own. If you find yourself focused more on your partner than your own arousal, try regrounding yourself through your breath. “You can even ask your partner to breathe with you in unison, so you are doing it together,” Evnin-Bingham tells SELF. If you’re in bed with someone, chances are they want to make you feel good (including by having a great orgasm). Give them the info they might need to help them get you there.
If you’re not sure where to start, asking for something like a sensual massage can help you give direction on what does and doesn’t feel good. You can also always tell the person you’re in bed with what you’re into more straightforwardly, showing a partner how you like to be touched (which can be a mutual turn-on!) or gently redirecting them if something isn’t working for you by saying something like, “I’d love it if you touched me like XYZ right now—can we try that?” And if you have a difficult time talking to your partner about your sex life, try SELF’s tips for making it feel less awkward.
6. Use (way more!) lube.
No matter what parts of your body you’re loving up, lube will make it feel even better than it already does. The powerful product doesn’t just work against friction and dryness—it maximizes pleasure, too. SELF has a great guide to incorporating lube into sex acts of all stripes, and choosing the right type of lubricant for whatever kind of action you’re getting.
A big thing to note here: When it comes to slipperiness more is more, meaning that you should reapply often for the best results.
7. Show your clitoris lots of love.
Dr. Kerner calls the clitoris “the powerhouse of the orgasm” for people with vaginas, and for good reason—it’s packed with nerve endings that respond hugely to touch and attention, meaning that they can help you unlock the orgasm of your wildest dreams. “Think of the clitoris as the kindling in the campfire that gets the blaze going,” he says.
Many people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to come, whether that’s during foreplay or the main event too. You can have your partner play with your clit while they’re penetrating you with a penis or toy, go long on oral sex, or use a clitoral vibrator as you go—more on this in a bit.
8. Give anal sex a shot.
Whether you’ve wondered about anal but never actually tried it on for size, or you’re a seasoned practitioner of the backdoor arts, bringing your booty into the sexual mix can offer you sensations that make an orgasm feel all the more intense when you get there.
If you’re not into penetrative sex, you can still enjoy the sensations that come with external play, and if you do want to do the full butt monty, here’s a guide to preparing yourself for anal sex.
For maximum pleasure, bring the pointers above about making your clit feel great into the mix as you love up your butt—the combined types of stimulation can send you over the moon as you come. Whatever you do, anal lube is your best friend—and an essential part of any sexual activity involving your butt.
9. Go for G-spot gold.
Although there are still a lot of cultural myths related to G-spot pleasure, the reality is that paying attention to it can feel really good for some people. If you don’t know where your G-spot is, “take one to two fingers and find a squishy, sometimes more rigid spot about one to two inches inside on the top vaginal canal,” Evnin-Bingham explains. Then, try tapping into that pleasure by curling a finger in a come-hither motion toward the front wall of the vagina, or under your belly button.
“Combining clitoral stimulation with G-spot stimulation can give you the feeling of a blended orgasm,” says Dr. Kerner, using a term for a combined vaginal and clitoral orgasm, since the G-spot is close to the internal parts of your clit. You might need to experiment a little to get there, but if you’re intrigued, remember that practice often makes perfect.
10. Switch up your sex positions.
Experimenting with different positions—and the areas of your bod they stimulate—during a hookup can add variety and depth to your pleasure, ultimately making for an all-timer of an orgasm. Evnin-Bingham suggests lying on your side or bringing in a pillow under your hips to support the pelvic floor while offering a new way to spice things up as one option. SELF has more great advice about hot sex positions to do with a partner—or you can just cycle through arrangements you know you like in order to hit different areas of your body with sexy attention and care as you work toward a big finish.
11. Try out vibrators or other sex toys, whether you’re by yourself or with a partner.
Vibrators and other toys can offer up the X factor that gets you to wait-what’s-my-name-again kind of orgasms, and you don’t have to relegate yours to solo play. “You can use a vibrator to enhance sex” with a partner too, says Dr. Kerner. Slowly building up the speed or intensity of a sex toy can take your orgasm to the next level in any kind of pleasure session.
You might have a partner use your favorite vibrator on you before you do other sex acts, use a clitoral vibe on yourself while they penetrate you to beef up a vaginal orgasm, or bring in a toy specifically designed for use by couples. Using toys like a rabbit that can hit your G-spot and clitoris at the same time can bring double the pleasure, Evnin-Bingham says. The possibilities are endless—and if you’re into how incorporating sex toys feels for you, your resulting orgasm might feel endless too.
12. Give edging a whirl.
Edging is a term for delaying an orgasm when you’re really close. For instance: Maybe you’re on the brink when someone’s eating you out and you ask them to focus on your labia or vulva instead of your clit, or you slow down right when a certain position is about to bring you over the edge.
Delaying the big moment right when you’re going to come, then finally giving in only when it’s not an option to wait any longer, can make your orgasm feel absolutely blackout-inducing in the very best of ways. If you’re used to rushing toward the finish line, you might find that this technique is not the most direct route to an orgasm, but it can be so much more satisfying of a sexual experience throughout, including at the end.
13. Try for multiple orgasms.
If you come once and find that you’re ready to try for another climax, SELF has a thorough guide to having multiple orgasms, including tips about getting yourself ready mentally as well as the more physical approaches to sex that can help prepare your body for consecutive Os.
Don’t force it if one is enough—or if an orgasm just isn’t going to happen for you this time. It’s totally possible to have a sexy, fulfilling time without coming at all. What matters is that you feel great in exactly the way that makes you happy. Have fun—and enjoy every second of your hookup or solo session, whatever kind of orgasm you have (or not).
Related:
- Am I Asexual or Just Tired?
- How to Be a Really Good Kisser
- 8 Ways to Have Better Sex in 2026
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